Hello News
Who am I?
My Monthly Column

Important:

My web design is not an attempt at humor. It is not "ironic". This is just basic HTML and I like .gifs.

Learn more about me. My likes, dislikes, fears, goals, convictions, crushes, dream journal, technology and internet usage, etc.

Not interested in anything illegal, politics, drugs, racial discussion, harassment.

The above disclaimers address frequent incorrect assumptions about me that are important to distinguish.




Technology (Tutorials, Opinions, & More)
Technology Repair Log


GPG KEY AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE.

Want to use GPG but don't know how? I wrote a tutorial. Click here.

My email is ashleyjones@icum.to

I may respond to your email if it's of interest to me.

Emails I am interested in: Anything relating to technology, your technology repair, questions about technology (both physical and digital such as web hosting), thoughts/opinions on my website/videos, food, among other possible topics.

Emails I am not interested in: I am not interested in discussing anything illegal, political, sexual, or racial.

Emails sent from Gmail will not be responded to since I do not engage with Google services.


CALL ME: 725-CUM-FART

Yes, that is my actual phone number. Your phone call goes directly to my Garfield phone in my room. If I don't answer, please leave a voicemail. The voicemail you leave is on my 80's answering machine, also in my room.

FAQ:

Is this really your phone number?
Yes.


Why is the area code in Nevada?
I wanted a vanity number i.e. the number to spell something. I could search my potential vanity number on my provider's website before purchasing. CUM-FART was only available in Nevada or New York. I like cum farts better in Nevada.


When can I call you?
Anytime - literally. I don't have a set sleep schedule, so I couldn't honestly tell you a good time to call. I can accidentally flip my entire sleep schedule in only a few days, so I don't have set conscious operating hours.


Will you call me back?
It depends. Most of the time I don't feel like talking on the phone. However, if I do feel like talking on the phone and the message you left on my answering machine sounds of interest to me, then possibly.


Romantic Interests
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: Do not call the phone line in hopes of sparking a romantic relationship with me. I am very open about the fact that I am not seeking any form of romantic relationship. Romantic advances will be continually met with rejection. I only write this because this has happened a few times.



You can take pleasure in feeding me. I'm trying to rehabilitate from anorexia, as you can see, I'm still fat like Eugenia Cooney. Please save my life. Feed me. I accept gift cards for Papa Murphy, Little Caesar, and Panda Express. Just buy the gift card online and put my email as the recipient. I might reply back to your email with a before and after stomach stretching picture so you can see what you did to me. You can see what your money translates to. (your money -> gift card -> food -> ashley tummy full -> shit pic). I also might reply back with just a smiley face. Most likely no reply at all. You better take your chances and see what happens.

GPG KEY:
If you don't know how to use GPG, I have a tutorial. Click here.

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