My email is ashleyjones@icum.to
I may respond to your email if it's of interest to me.
Emails I am interested in: Anything relating to technology, your technology repair, questions about technology (both physical and digital such as web hosting), thoughts/opinions on my website/videos, food, among other possible topics.
Emails I am not interested in: I am not interested in discussing anything illegal, political, sexual, or racial.
Emails sent from Gmail will not be responded to since I do not engage with Google services.
CALL ME: 725-CUM-FART
Yes, that is my actual phone number. Your phone call goes directly to my Garfield phone in my room. If I don't answer, please leave a voicemail. The voicemail you leave is on my 80's answering machine, also in my room.
FAQ:
Is this really your phone number?
Yes.
Why is the area code in Nevada?
I wanted a vanity number i.e. the number to spell something. I could search my potential vanity number on my provider's website before purchasing. CUM-FART was only available in Nevada or New York. I like cum farts better in Nevada.
When can I call you?
Anytime - literally. I don't have a set sleep schedule, so I couldn't honestly tell you a good time to call. I can accidentally flip my entire sleep schedule in only a few days, so I don't have set conscious operating hours.
Will you call me back?
It depends. Most of the time I don't feel like talking on the phone. However, if I do feel like talking on the phone and the message you left on my answering machine sounds of interest to me, then possibly.
Romantic Interests
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: Do not call the phone line in hopes of sparking a romantic relationship with me. I am very open about the fact that I am not seeking any form of romantic relationship (unless you're a biological female). Romantic advances will be continually met with rejection. I only write this because this has happened a few times.
Transgender
Please don't call me if you are purposefully altering your voice by way of drugs or mechanical means. It is uncomfortable to carry a conversation with someone who does this. I'm not explicitely saying that trannies can't call me, but I am saying that it is required that you use your actual voice. Don't give me that "this is my actual voice" nonsense. You sound like you're doing a Mickey Mouse impression and it makes me very uncomfortable. As your father would say, please just be normal.
You can take pleasure in feeding me. I'm trying to rehabilitate from anorexia, as you can see, I'm still fat like Eugenia Cooney. Please save my life. Feed me. I accept gift cards for Papa Murphy, Little Caesar, and Panda Express. Just buy the gift card online and put my email as the recipient. I might reply back to your email with a before and after stomach stretching picture so you can see what you did to me. You can see what your money translates to. (your money -> gift card -> food -> ashley tummy full -> shit pic). I also might reply back with just a smiley face. Most likely no reply at all. You better take your chances and see what happens.
GPG KEY:
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