i love horse pussie HOW TO KILL AND HIDE A BODY
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WHO AM I???

I want to look like a man but i realize as a biological female that will never be possible but i can still try. click here to learn about the men i cross dress as

my pronouns are poo/pee. here are things wrong with us: DID, tourettes, depression, anxiety, social anxiety, BPD, ADHD, OCD, ABCD, autism, body dysmorphia, pubic hair, schizophrenia, transgender. oh and aids...

our alters are: ashley (this one is me typing right now) (she/her, age 16, underage) xXDerrickDaBeastXx (he/him, age 16) Taz (gay, homosexual, twink, age 24 unless his aids catches up to him) Barry (he/him, sexually opened, age 40-58) Linda (she/her, sexually very opened stretched wide built for bbc, age 37-49)

LEGAL NOTICE: if you masturbate to one of us you must depict all alters as 18+ or 14+ in Mexico

AVISO LEGAL: si te masturbas con uno de nosotros debes representar todos los alters como 18+ o 14+ en Mexico



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Disclaimer: All content on this page is purely satire. This is not actual advice on how to kill or hide bodies. Do not murder or kill anyone. This page is entirely a satire (a joke), All content on this page is a joke. I do not condon murder, do not murder anyone.

HOW TO KILL PEOPLE

Murder is always a viable option if you disagree or regret something. Did you know that statistically, more than 40% of all murders go unsolved? That means that you have a 40% chance to solve your problems in life... for good. Here's some quick advice for all you aspiring murderers:

Make sure your target is of low value. Hookers, homeless people, old people, and urban youth are great starters. Most people will just assume the hooker died from a stage 4 yeast infection. Nobody even looks at homeless people because you feel too guilty eating fast food while accidentally making direct eye contact with them. We've all trained ourselves to not look at homeless people, so that 40% chance of getting away with it goes up to at least a good 86%. Old people are a really good option. Choose one that has dimentia, force them at gun point into their car, make them drive to their final destination, and then people will just assume another old just drove their car off a bridge in a dimentia fit. See how good it feels to have power by using the gun cursor to assault the car below
We don't have to go into urban youth.

Now that you picked a good target you can ponder which way is best to blow their brains out. Personally, it depends on situation to situation. If your victim is in an apartment then you will want a silent and clean kill. If you're offing an old, just smuggle them with a pillow and leave them to rot in piece. However, if you're in an isolated and open location, gunning someone down may be the option for you. It's quick (if you're a good shot. if not, just practice killing more individuals) and dried blood is not that visible depending on the foiliage.

HOW TO HIDE A BODY

A picture says a thousand words, so here you go


Let the body crispy and dry in nautral sunlight for 4-6 days, perferably 1 mile away from a highway or on a few acres of a farmer's land. Most people will just assume it's a blow up doll and not go near it in fear of getting covid aids.

If you release someone from the bondage of living in this reptilian controlled world in the month of October, you can display the body at any local pumpkin patch. Most children and adults will assume the body is a scarecrow.

Donate the body to science!! Take a selfie of you in front of the body and post it onto Reddit for tons of upvotes!!!!!! (Upvote results may vary depending on if Reddit users have consumed their daily dose of soy milk. May be too weak to click - oh sorry - TAP the upvote button)

Drop the body off in Sweden and there will be a gaggle of refugees ready to have sloppy seconds (that is if you raped the body, or person if the rape occured while they were still alive)

Take the 40% chance that you won't be caught and just leave the body anywhere convienient

Just tell the cops the person you killed said they had covid and they will count the murder as a covid death

Leave them in an Arbys bathroom and employees will assume the victim died from the food

One way to get rid of the body is to simply eat it. I haven't perfected the recipe yet with humans, but it's pretty tasty with chicken.

INSTRUCTIONS
Mix the flour, salt, garlic powder and pepper in a shallow bowl. Dredge the body in the flour mixture and shake off excess.
Heat 1 tablespoon oil and 2 tablespoons butter in a 12-inch pan or skillet over medium-high heat until shimmering. Fry 2 of the body parts until golden-brown on both sides (about 3 to 4 minutes per side). Transfer to warm plate, tent with foil and keep warm
Repeat the same with the remaining 2 body parts.
In the same pan with remaining pan grease leftover from the body, melt 1 tablespoon of butter. Add the mushrooms and for 2-3 minutes until browned, scraping away at any of the leftover body bits off the bottom of the pan.
Add the garlic and cook until fragrant, about 1 minute.
Pour in the Marsala and the broth and simmer until reduced by half and starting to thicken, (about 10-15 minutes).
Pour in the cream and return the body back into the sauce. Cook until the sauce thickens (about 3 minutes).
Garnish with chopped parsley and serve immediately. (The sauce will continue to thicken off the heat.)
Serve over cooked angel hair pasta (or pasta of choice), rice, potatoes, cauliflower rice or zucchini noodles, if desired.

GET STRETCHED.