Monthly Column

This is the thurd entry in my monthly columns (which is not strcitly released on a monthly basis). The subjects and questions were submitted to me via email (ashleyjones@icum.to) and my discussion board ( https://tubgurl.com/ashleyj/thread/29878.html ). Please submit your questions, tip requests, suggestions, etc. via email with the subject line, "MONTHLY COLUMN", or in the thread linked about the monthly column.

In this column, I will discuss the following topics:
-My obsession with dates/years and which decades I love
-Do I enjoy plane crashes?
-Product Review: Hidden Valley Ranch Dress Packets
-Advertisement
-A walk down memory lane: the bloody picture
-I am making websites for those who are convicted sex offenders
-Recipe of the Month: Blueberry Muffins
-Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
-People want to befriend me? An unexpected invintation -- rdrama.net
-Personals
-Babe of the Month
-Opinions on VHS, CD, DVD, tapes, vinyls, etc.
-Reading a Reader's Palm

Your obsession with years: WHY this weird habit, when did it start, what is your most and least favorite year, please rate years or at least decades from worst to best.

For those reading who are unaware, I have an obsession with dates and years. I have a habit of guessing when a certain thing was created, and most times I am able to guess these things with great accuracy. For example -- if I see a picture, I am likley to guess the exact year it was taken (within recent times such as 1965-2025). I do this with pictures I see, clothing, products, movies, old people I see in public, and more.

As for when this habit started, ironically, I am unsure of the exact year. However, I started growing fascinated with decades and the specific items that are associated with decades when I was around 13. Since this age, I have always had an interest in times of yesteryear, in particular, I initially was attracted to the 1950's because I liked the music, style, and culture of that time. To accurately emulate this style, you have to build a knowledge base as to which clothing was worn during this time, which music was commonly listened to, what types of media were consumed, etc. As I grew older, my interests in time eras shifted. Soon I became more interested in the 1960's because I was obsessed with The Beatles in middle school. As I grew even older (14), I became more intereseted in the 1980's due to my love for heavy metal and thrash music. I also really like the dress style of metalheads during that time. I find myself either wanting to be them (sadly impossible, as I lack musical talent and a penis), or to have sex with them (also impossible).

My interest in the 1980's has persisted the longest, along with my interest in the 1970's. My favorite thing about the 1970's is the decor of the time, as I find it much more "alive" or "human" compared to the modern drab, grey, ugly distressed decorating that is popular today. Personally, I think humans grow depressed if they're surrounded by sterile homes with bright white walls and grey flooring. It opposes our human nature of being surrounded by water, foliage, wood, etc. Perhaps this is why I love 1970's decor -- the color schemes are much more natural and familiar to our human nature (wood paneling equates to tree bark, orange and green tones are familiar due to the leaves we would see in nature, etc.)

My interest in 1970's decor stems from my teenage room (pictured left). My room had 1970's wood paneling. I had previously not thought much about wood paneling until I inhabited that room. I realized that being in room with wood paneling was very comforting. Plus, I have a great dislike for white walls, since when the sun hits the room, the white walls reflect off of one another, making your room much brighter and unpleasant to live in. In my experience, wood paneling does not have this effect. The constant darker tone means my eyes don't get raped by sunlight every day. After this, I grew more interested in 1970's decorating. My living room is decorated using mostly authentic 1970's (or early 1980's) furniture.

Actually, trying to autehntically replicate a 1970's living room is what got me interested in vintage technology. I didn't like having a flat screen TV in a room that was clearly a time capsule of an era where CRTs were the norm. Therefore, I saught out a 1970's CRT TV for my living room, and after about a year and a half, I found the perfect TV (though it is from 1984, but early 1980's style ties in with late 1970's style.) Since I wanted to play movies on my CRT TV, I of course needed a VCR. One thing you will learn when you collect vintage technology is that the large majority of it won't work. You will have to learn how to fix things if you want 40 year old technology to function properly. This is exactly how my interest in vintage technology repair started -- purely by happenstance.

As you know, my living room is decorated authentically in a late 1970's early 1980's style. Meanwhile, my bedroom is mostly an authentic late 1980's or early 1990's style. Since I love both the 1970's and 1980's time eras, but the styles oppose each other, I chose to decorate each room for each time era. This works out better because the living room is much more mature, while my bedroom is much more immature and allows me to collect the immature items I love from the 1980's. This is another reason why I love the 1980's -- the toys from the time are a lot more fun and well-made compared to anything you could find today. My absolute favorite item I own is my 1984 Donkey Kong toy, which is placed on top of my TV. I have tried to sleep with it while hugging him, but the rubber face on him is difficult to cuddle, unfortunately. I am ashamed to admit that I occasionally do still cuddle stuffed animals as I sleep, and no, I was not molested (I guess I wasn't cute enough). A lot of un-molested women do this. I think it relates back to maternal instinct (I am maternal, believe it or not. I like kids (not sexually)), as mothers would hug infants during sleep as a means to protect the infant.

I hang a lot of unconventional things on my walls simply because I like them and I like that time period. I also think the 1980's were a lot more "fun" compared to other time eras. The movies, cartoons, video games, media, stickers, and clothing, had a charm that I love and has never been captured again in another time era. I also love the technology from that time. Analog technology is completely fascinating to me, because you can see how something works. It's a lot more mechanical, yet, can have a "digital" outcome (e.g. VCRs and CRTs). Whereas, modern technology is heavily reliant on SMDs, chips, and more, in order for an outcome to happen. It's very digital and spaceship-like, which isn't as fun to me. I like seeing mechanical parts work together and understanding how they work together. The 1970's and 1980's are a good time period for this type of analog technology.

If I find an item that appears to be from the 1980's, I will try to guess which year it is from, and then I will turn over the item to see what year it was manufactured. I'm fairly good at determining the years, and I can distinguish something that is from 1984 compared to something that is from 1987, because I can tell things proceed to be much more colorful and cartoonish the later on the decade goes. However, most items I like tend to be from the earlier 1980's. Some of my favorite 1980's things are the California Raisins, McDonald's interior and exterior design (and Ronald McDonald is very cute (sexually)), Garfield (comics, TV show, and products), Teenage Mutant Nigga Turtles, and more.

One thing that irritates me is when people try to portray a time era, but do so inauthentically. For example, I hated the "vaporwave" trend in ~2013-2014, because it took elements of the 1980's and 1990's but completely bastardized those elements. Eventually, people started assuming this new twist on the 80's and 90's were actually authentic of the time. Anything that tries to inauthentically recreate times of the past is not something I'm interested in. It reminds me of if you were to search for "1970's costume" on an open source search engine, you will see people wearing go-go boots and a paisley-patterned dress, when in reality, those things were not common and were actually a staple from the late 1960's, -- NOT the 1970's. Inacurricies like this bother me. I am very much a stickler for having things be time-era appropriate, and I do not like seeing things that are out of place or that are inacurrate. I also resent that zoomers have become interested in the 1980's but completely butcher the style or technology. I don't understand why they love the "VHS aesthetic" (I hate the word aesthetic). For one, they are misinformed as to what VHS tapes actually look like. When zoomers try to recreate a VHS look, they add way too much distortion that is not typically present on VHS tapes. In fact, I have seen tutorials made by zoomers, instructing other zoomers on how to further degrade a tape to make it look even more "retro". This doesn't make sense -- worsening quality does not equate to a tape being more "retro". Either your VHS tape is vintage or it's not. In all cases, your VHS tape is already vintage. No need to run magnets over the tape. Rather than being interested in the technology, it's all about an "aesthetic". Don't get me wrong -- I like how VHS tapes look compared to, say, a digital camera. However, it letting looks dictate your interests is weird, especially when these people have the wrong idea as to how the technology actually looks. Sometimes I think these people believe that the camcorder's OSD (on screen display) is actually part of the tape.

Here are a few of my favorite years:
#1. 1983
Why? Because it's the year the first season of Press Your Luck aired. It's also the year the Care Bears made their debut on TV.

I also have a fascination with years in regards to my life. For example, I organize and date pictures of myself from over the years. I have considered posting my dated picture archive to my website, but, I'm not sure about doing this. For me, it's archival and historical. However, I could see others viewing this media as an attempt to "gather simps" simply due to my sex. This is why I restrict certain activies I do, because my sex will automatically equate to farming for male attention rather than doing something out of pure interest. In any event, I have continued to be explicitly clear that I am not on the market sexually nor romantically for any male. This is different for biological females. I am very much on the market sexually for biological females. I do not care for sexual validation from people online, though it would be nice to have a biological girl friend (note the space between "girl" and "friend"). Perhaps I will do my photo archive someday, but it's important to note that it's simply historical and nothing more. Come to think of it, all the other times I have seen HTML-based websites with photo archives of the owner, they were all male. I would imagine their photo archives are not an attempt to meet a sexual mate, rather, it's just interesting.

Do you enjoy plane crashes? Or a similar kind of disasters like bridge failures or industrial explosions, or just disasters in general? Of course NOT participating but more like a morbid curiosity.

I put myself on the no-fly list. I would never set foot in an airplane due to my life completely being in the hands of another person. I'm also relying on other strangers to have competence. Who is to say that the plane wasn't actually maintained? I have no way to validate this, however, by setting foot on a plane, I am putting my trust and livelihood into multiple strangers' hands. That's not a risk I am willing to take.

That being said, yes, the thought of hundreds of people screaming in terror as a plane dismantles and crashes into a pool of flames is enjoyable to me.

Heh. In reality, I don't find these things enjoyable. Maybe if that plane was filled with hundreds of career women, then sure, that could be enjoyable. Perhaps the only enjoyable thing about a plane ride is that if you scream enough, you can get the hot stewardesses to bondage you up with tape like the guy in this picture. It's in their ethics code that they're actually allowed to do this if you're acting crazy. I wonder if the Japanese plane sstewardesses are really good at this.

On the topic of other (presumably fatal) accidents, one time I was being driven on the high way and there was a fatal car crash. I had only seen the aftermath, but there was blood and bodily material on the road. I was a little disturbed. It's not every day you're so close to seeing someone else's grizzly demise. As I turned to my driver to express my negative feelings, he said, "Don't worry. It was a jelly doughnut crash." I still think about that to this day and laugh, it was really funny.

I don't usually have morbid curiosity. I know there are terrible things that happen in the world, I don't need to be directly exposed to them. My mind shouldn't be occupied with visions or sounds of real life terror.

For the record, my preferred method of long-distance travel is: airplane (0% chance) > Greyhound bus (3% chance) > Train (97% chance).

Years ago, I inquired at my local pizza place what type of ranch they used. Their ranch was always so good that I could literally drink it like it was a beverage. They told me it was Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing packets. I was amazed that the most delicious ranch I had ever tasted was a product readily available at most grocery stores. After that, I purchased a Hidden Valley ranch packet, but realized I accidentally purchased the "dipping" packet instead of the "dressing" packet, which was a mistake. I forgot about ranch packets after this and continued purchasing my regular ranch.

Recently, however, I have become more and more repulsed with my typical ranch products. I typically purchase Lighthouse Ranch and Bob's Ranch. I've found both ranches to taste tangy and sweet. I looked at the ingredients and found that the main ingredient in these ranches (and all other ranch products I could find) was oil. Specifically, canola oil, which is very bad for your health. Canola oil tends to add a sweet tanginess to food, and this would explain why I didn't like these ranch products.

I remebered the Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing packets and decided to try them once again. I will never again purchase any other type of ranch. The ranch packets are a powder of spices, among other things, that you mix with 1 cup of buttermilk and 1 cup of mayonnaise. You mix them all together and your ranch is made. I store the ranch in a mason jar in the fridge. It's very easy to make this ranch and I suspect it tastes better because it uses actual dairy rather than relying on canola oil for the primary ingredient. The consistency of the ranch is very thin and water-y, which I like.

I've tried this ranch as dipping for homemade pizza, and I liked the ranch more than the pizza. It's crazy. I also put this ranch in a salad, and the salad instantly tasted like a restaurant quality salad. I had consumed this type of salad before, and never knew that this was the secret ingredient. Quite literally, it is the secret ingredient. The packet claims that this is one of the most widely utilized products to make ranch in restaurants. I believe it.

The overall ingredients are not that great health wise, however, I have already had so much taken from me in my diet (no corn syrup, no added sugar, no preservatives, no added colors, etc.). I'm going to allow ranch to be one of my vices. If you like ranch, then I highly encourage you to purchase some of these ranch packets (along with mayonnaise and buttermilk, as those are required for the ranch packet mix). Also be sure to purchase the packets that specify they are for "dressing" and not "dipping". You can read on the back of the packet to confirm.

THE FOLLOWING IS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT

Hi, this is TV's Ashley Jones. My friends over at CheshIRC ~~asked~~ paid me to warmly invite readers of my monthly column to join their fun and friendly IRC channel.

Don't you miss the old days of chatrooms? Remember when you could easily join in on a random room with no hoops to jump through? No verifications, no emails, no phone numbers? It used to be so simple -- just enter in any name and start chatting. Remember those days? Remember pretending to be a 15 F from California? Almost no more will you find anything like that. And when you do, such places are dead wastelands.

That's why I'm glad the people over at CheshIRC are keeping the wonderful parts of the internet alive by running their own IRC chatroom on the Tor network. Tor is an open source privacy network built on "onion routing". CheshIRC is an Internet Relay Chat (IRC) channel available ONLY via Tor. To participate, download the Tor Browser and navigate to their onion link: 34vnln24rlakgbk6gpityvljieayyw7q4bhdbbgs6zp2v5nbh345zgad.onion

CheshIRC is a general chat channel where you can discuss anything you'd like. In my experience, CheshIRC hosts a pretty relaxed crowd of people who aren't easily offended, with new random people (just like you, reader) popping in to chat. I doubt you'll encounter too many trannies, but your mileage may vary, because it is IRC after all (but still not as bad as Discord). Jokes aside, I have hung out with these guys and they're all pretty cool, and one time they even made me harass some German guy at his place of work via threatening phone calls. It's great there. And hey, who knows -- some of the people behind those wacky usernames might even be hot babes (biological). Unironically, there are some holes (females) that hang out there, but you've undoubtedly got your competition cut out for you. If you want an internet girlfriend, you're better off utilizing the "personals" section of my monthly column, or downloading a decent uncensored LLM. But who knows, love blossoms in the strangest of places, like IRC channels or, in my case, the bathroom at Arby's. You'll never know if you don't log on and introduce yourself.

Link to their onion: 34vnln24rlakgbk6gpityvljieayyw7q4bhdbbgs6zp2v5nbh345zgad.onion

That link is only accessible on the tor network. You can download the tor browser here. After that, launch the tor browser and paste the link into the navigation bar.


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I always enjoy relfecting on past memories. I've been told on numerous occasions that I have a fantasic memory, and that I tend to recall small details that other people typically do not recall. I'd like to share my memories -- especially because I may one day forget these memories. While looking through my computer for old pictures I had taken, this picture stood out to me, as I recall a few things about this picture.

This picture was taken on November 29, 2014. Prior to taking this picture, I had made a video pretending someone killed me. I was laying on my bed in a dark room, my mouth was gagged with a belt, and I had "blood" on my face, as I laid on my bed completely still. In writing, this seems much more serious than it actually was. The video was a few seconds long and titled, "Untitled". I thought it was really funny because of how bizarre it was. I think I freaked some people out with this video, so shortly after uploading it, I had taken a picture of me, alive, with the "blood" on my face. I posted this picture to my board on 8chan to show it was a joke. You can tell by my smile in the picture that I thought it was funny. I still do.

I also recall a few other things about this night. For one, the blood on my face was actually red food coloring. I had food coloring because I would sometimes use it to dye food I was baking, as I've always had a fondness for baking. After I got the food coloring, I layed on my bed, closed my eyes, and I dripped the food coloring on my face so it would seem more authentic, splattered, and create streaks down my face. I learned this night that food coloring stains human skin very well. After I took this picture, I tried to remove the food coloring with baby wipes (I usually use baby wipes to remove my eyeliner, sometimes to assist in wiping poop (mine)). However, the baby wipes did very little to remove the food coloring, so I got a wash cloth with hand soap and scrubbed at my face for a number of minutes until the color faded. It wasn't removed by any means, and I had a light red coloration on my face where the food coloring was. I sort of liked how it looked, though.

Here's a picture from the next day, where you can still slightly see the food coloring.

I have a history of abusing my face with things that shouldn't be on it. For example, I used to put acrylic paint on my face all the time.

I also remember getting a Wendy's chicken sandwich this night and eating it, all after the food coloring ordeal. Quick off-topic thought: Wendys has the best fast food hamburger.

My shirt was also stained, as you can tell by the picture. Since I ruined this shirt with food coloring, I decided to use that shirt as a "hair dye" shirt for when I dye my hair. This way, I don't have to worry about ruining a new shirt since this food colored shirt is already ruined. Much like a lot of my clothes from this time, I still have this shirt. I see no reason to throw it away if it still fits me and is perfectly fine (aside from the stains. But I take a strange liking to clothes that are stained or have holes in them. Those qualities tend to mean the shirt is very comfy).

People, particularly males ages 25+, sometimes think it's strange that I still wear my clothes from high school. I think this is because these men have a much different body shape from when they were in high school, so to them, it would be strange if they were still wearing their clothes from high school. However, my body hasn't changed much and my clothes aren't beholden to a time era, so they look fairly standard for what someone would wear today. I'm not trying to "relive" my high school self -- they're just clothes and it would be wasteful and pointless to get rid of perfectly good clothes that I like.

I will continue to share memories in my "walk down memory lane" entry for future columns. Perhaps these entries will not be just about pictures, but may include old videos I had made, general memories I have from my past, etc. If you have a picture or video you would like me to go into more detail about, please email me about it so I can write about it for my future column.

Why? While I was perusing sexual offender websites, I found myself unsatisfied with the lack of information regarding the offense. For example, many websites only provide a simple entry for the person's offense with no further detail about the case, such as:
Crime: Statutory Sodomy Second Degree

We have no further information about the crime. I would prefer if the offender could have a section to write their side of the story. Perhaps the crime wasn't all that bad, but the legal terminology and lack of information makes your crime seem way more extreme and worse than it actually is.

If you are a convicted sex offender, I will make a website for you that solely focuses on your sexual offense. The following list is what I will provide for you on your website:

1. Re-vamp your mugshot in GIMP by removing any blemishes, imperfections, wrinkles, color-correcting, and fixing the bright florescent prison lighting to a more suitable, warm, inviting color tone to better suit your skin tone. Your mugshot will look warm and inviting to show your best, law-abiding self.

2. Make the website have fantastic SEO so your website will show up before all other websites when searching for your name. The goal here is that if someone searches your name on a search engine, your website that you control will show up in the search results first. This increases the chances that the person conducting the search will go to your website first and see a more well-balanced side of your sexual assault journey.

3. Humanize the offender by including a log of all of the times you have committed legal sex acts. This will show the other party that you are mostly a law-abiding citizen and while you may have committed a crime once, the large majority of your sexual activies are legal. Perhaps we could include this in both a log and an overall percentage system. For example:

4. Sex offender registry websites will always make note of your tattoos. Why not get a chance to talk about the meaning behind your rad tattoos?

5. Post a picture of the victim during the time of the sex offense***. If your victim was very hot, this might make others sympathize with why you committed the crime.
***unless the sex offense was CP. We can't do that for obvious reasons

This service is only available for registered sex offenders. If you are a sex offender but just haven't been caught yet, then I cannot provide this service for you, because it seems illogical to want to admit to a crime you haven't been caught for yet. I accept payments in Monero (XMR) or Panda Express gift cards. The cost to produce this website will be $250, but I promise that it will manage and save your reputation by great measures.

Sometimes people e-mail me saying that they are not sure if I am joking or not. This is not a joke. This is 100% serious and I will do this for you.

I love these muffins a ton. They're great to have around when you're not sure what to cook, but you're hungry. After the recipe, I will instruct you on the best way to eat these muffins.

1/2 cup butter (let the butter sit out for about 15 minutes before making recipe. This will soften the butter and make it easier to mix.)
2 cups flour
1 1/4 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1/2 cup milk
1/3tsp baking powder
1/2tsp salt
1 1/2 cup blueberries
1 tsp vanilla

In a large bowl, add in the butter and sugar and mix together. Mixing with a wooden paddle-like spoon is best. The butter will make the consisency of the mix thicker.

Add in eggs, milk, and vanilla into the bowl. Mix together. This will form a batter.

If you are using frozen blue berries: Turn on your sink until the water is hot, the run the 1 1/2 cup of blueberries under the water (in a strainer or bowl) until the blueberries are softened and not frozen. They may turn squishy, this is ok. Once the blueberries are thawed, remove from the sink's water stream and squish the blueberries in a bunch with your hand. This will remove lots of the excessive water. Then, blot off the blueberries with paper towels or cloths to remove the water from the blueberries. The water will be a dark blue/purple color, so if we allow this water to remain, it will color our batter and the batter will be blue instead of its normal yellow color. If you are using frozen blue berries, do not add into the batter yet. I will tell you when to do this.

Use a cupcake/muffin pan for the muffins. Rub butter into each hole of the muffin pan, then rub butter on the top of the pan. This will help the muffins not stick to the pan when we're ready to remove them. If you're using fresh blueberries, add the batter into each hole of the pan now. Do not overfill the holes. They need less batter than you think, because the batter will rise and spread.

If you're using frozen blue berries, butter the pan as described above, then add JUST the batter without the blueberries into each hole of the pan. Then, drop in a few blueberries (5-6) into each muffin, using a chop stick or your finger to press the blueberry into the muffin and spread the blueberries around in the muffin. We do it this way with frozen blueberries, because if we mixed the frozen blueberries directly into the batter, it will dye the batter to be blue. Doing it this way will reduce the amount of blue blueberry dye that leaks into the muffins.

If your oven is now at 350 degrees, place the muffin pan (while wearing heat resistant baking glove) into the oven for 25-30 minutes (or until cooked properly). You can check if the muffins are cooked properly by taking the pan out (while wearing heat resistant baking glove) and inserting a tooth pick or chop stick into the middle of the muffin, then pulling the stick out. If the stick is wet, the inside needs to be cooked more. Just place the pan back into the oven for a few more minutes - DO NOT turn the temperature up. Keep the temperature the same. Pull pan out and repeat until the stick comes out mostly dry. A tiny bit of wet is ok, as the muffins will slightly continue to cook as they're out of the oven and cooling.

Let the muffins sit in the pan for a few minutes. To remove a muffin, run a butterknife around the inside edges of the muffin to loosen it from the pan. Simply trying to remove the muffin without loosening it will result in the muffin possibly tearing, so it is advised to loosen it first.

How to best eat the muffin: The muffin must be warm (if preferred). Warm it up in a toaster oven for a few minutes. Using a microwave for warming food is not advised due to radiation emitted from microwaves that are thus ingested into your body. Once the muffin is warm, remove it and place it onto a plate. Cut the muffin down vertically, as "1" demonstrates. Cut the mufin down horizontally, as "2" demonstrates. Leave the edges of the muffin intact for the muffin to maintain integrity.

Spy glasses are more than just a gift to your man. They're a gift to mankind. Your boyfriend or husband will not only look like an unintimidating dork (which makes creepshotting even easier when you're an unsuspecting dweeb), but he will be able to cap the finest VPLs to ever grace the self check-out at Target. With a wonderful built-in SD card into these glasses, he can upload the finest 360p caps to the internet. He'll have 20/20 vision for 10/10 ASS. With these spy glasses intended to use solely for creepshotting, he won't have pink eye, butt he will get up nice and close to some brown eyes. Please, get your spouse some spy glasses.

We all know women love dark men. Why not circumvent her craving by controlling the type of brown man she puts into her mouth?

I'm a simple non-binary person. All I want is a Panda Express gift card or even better, Monero (XMR).

One day I checked my email and I received three separate emails (along with a few voicemails) from people very enthusiastically inviting me to "rdrama.net". Usually my email inbox is very slow, so to have multiple people emailing me over the course of one day was exciting. The emails I received told me that people were discussing my website on rdrama.net, and I was provided a link to this thread.

In this thread, people seemed bewildered by my opinions and blunt honesty, but they were unexpectedly welcoming and encouraging despite this (or probably because of this). I always have a hard time thinking about how others perceive me, since I will admit, I am fairly strange compared to the average person. I lose sight of this since I am me and I am living this strangeness 24/7, so what is completely normal to me is completely unique and new to other people. Sometimes I will say really stupid things to other people in public because I am slightly nervous when talking to people in person, so I have a harder time pacing my thoughts. This means that I sometimes lose sight of "normal" speak and my own internal words/phrases I made up. Once I gifted an acquaintance cookies. She thanked me and said the cookies were good. I got nervous, giggled, and said, "That's great, I hope they give you good mouth pleasure." The term "mouth pleasure" is one I made up to imply something is tasty, but out of context, it sounds completely sexual. After I said that, I felt my face turn red. Another time, I was talking to an acquaintance about delicious food I had just eaten and I casually said, "I one throated that food". The term "one throat" implies you ate something so quickly in one go, "one throat". But after saying it, I immediately realized that term was something I say to myself internally, not externally. It also sounds very similar to "deep throat", so I was embarrassed after I accidentally said that. (I originally heard this term on Impractical Jokers and it resonated with me.) All of this to say, my eccentricities sometimes make me seem more fascinating compared to other people, because other people are very similar to one another and thus, they do not stand out.

Also, someone in the rdrama.net thread was wondering if I was a tranny. Is it because I use Arch? What about me emanates mentally ill man who shaves his taint? I took great offense to this, because what biological male has a cute face and is 4' 11"? That would be the absolute tranny jackpot, and if I were a tranny that had hit such a jackpot, I would definitely have capitalized on that. But instead, here I am writing this and making websites for sex offenders, sans girldick. Plus, all trannies sound the same. They sound like a deranged Mickey Mouse, and my voice sounds nothing like that. I have a very authentic, biological, female voice. Perhaps you haven't spent enough time watching trannies to know this. I implore you to spend a few minutes educating yourself. Go to https://www.tgtube.com/

Here's an example of me talking versus how a tranny sounds when he tries to sound like a girl. I've perfectly replicated how these mental basket cases talk via the power of Kdenlive.

Now you can spot a tranny without even setting an eye on one. You're welcome for the masterclass in how to tranny spot for blind people.

Overall, I was amused by this encounter because it was a glimpse into how people react when they visit my website and read my opinions. Usually I am completely blind to people's perceptions on these things, since there isn't a comment section on my HTML pages. It was also nice to see a website with a solid and active userbase that is completely separate from the usual retarded back-doored NSA Telegram chat, Discord group, or other NSA controlled "social media" website. I'm pretty sure rdrama.net uses Lemmy, which is open source (and federated) software that mirrors the Reddit look. If you are opposed to using reddit because you do not wish to start estrogen pills, then using a Lemmy instance would be a better solution for you.

In my case, while I appreciate the kind reception and invitations to rdrama.net, I am not a fan of the Reddit style/form of communication, nor do I tend to use websites that require accounts (withe exception of e-mail and my Peertube).

A lot of the time I prefer to post opinions and share ideas/responses anonymously, as this serves a few primary benefits:
1. No one will agree/disagree with my opinion simply because I said it. When I post an idea anonymously, I can get honest feedback that is not tainted by someone's opinion of me.
2. I generally do not use any website with a profile system. I don't like cliques that tend to come with profile-based websites. For example, on forums you will have cliques, a reputation, a post number history attached to your profile which seemingly dictates your worth. There are too many factors a profile adds that taint a discussion; as now the person is more important than the discussion at hand.
3. I can post something I do not actually mean without someone having the ability to confirm if I actually believe that thing due to my post history. Anonymity gives you freedom to be a completely different person. This allows anonymous posting to be much more fun due to its chaotic nature.

It's important to note that a website page is different from a discussion. While I operate a website where I write my thoughts/opinions, in a setting of discussion, I vastly prefer for ideas to hold value over who said the idea. When identities get involved in a discussion, the ideas can be tainted simply by the identity saying them. Whereas if the discussion was held anonymously, the thoughts and ideas are judged on their own merit alone.

I understand this is unconventional thinking for most people and that I am in a great minority. I personally prefer to operate like this, but I understand why most people do not have issues with profiles and discussions tied to an identity. While I personally do not make accounts on social websites due to my own personal beliefs, I think there is a good chance some of my readers may like this website. I think it's important to spend leisurely internet time on websites that are separate from globohomo ones. I encourage you to at least look at this website out of curiosity, and perhaps join if it's something you like. By having more users interact on such websites, it gives those who were once reluctant to use. Only a few years ago (around 2017) many open source federated websites were dead due to low adoptability since people did not want to use websites with a low userbase. Thanks to those who choose to use them regardless, it has given them more value, and thus, those who will only join is there is a sufficient userbase will now be more willing to utilize these better websites.

We played chicken with our carts at HEB and both laughed our heads off when we kept going the wrong way. You are super cute with an amazing smile. Hope you see this!

If you think you are this woman located in Austin, Texas, you may contact this man at his craigslist post: https://austin.craigslist.org/mis/d/austin-cart-chicken-at-wm-cannon-heb/7816209613.html

I am a 74 year old widower trying to find my lonely old woman to light that fire we talked about and see how it burns. Contact me here and lets find time for each other.

If you are a lonely old woman, you may contact this man at his craigslist post: https://austin.craigslist.org/mis/d/austin-cart-chicken-at-wm-cannon-heb/7816209613.html
Otherwise, you may also contact me by calling (725) CUM-FART, because I find old women sexually appealing.

I found this babe a few months ago watching a movie called, "A Mermaid's Tale". Unfortunately, I discovered this babe was only 13 in this movie (pictured left). There's no way this girl is only 13 here. I thought she was at least 17, but 13 years old? No. I'm convinced that some acting and talent agencies lie about the age of the attractive woman. For example, you're telling me that Brittney Spears is only 16 here?

That's a straight up lie. She's clearly older, but those who control the media want to prey on inbuilt and natural hebephilic instincts, and so while a woman may be 19, a large majority of the population will find her much more attractive simply by saying she's 15 rather than 19. To be clear, I'm not saying Brittney is ugly or looks old. She simply looks a few years older than the age they tell you she is.

I'm not completely sure if that's the case with Caitlin Carmichael, but, she definitely does not look 13 in the movie "A Mermaid's Tale". While I do find her to be cute in that movie, she isn't complete babe status yet. We have to let her marinate for a few years to turn into a total babe. Why? Because within those few years, she turned into Tiffani Theisin, who you may recall, was the first babe in my "Babe of the Month" entry. Caitlin Carmichael looks like a clone of Tiffani, and let's just say, I'm glad she's not 13 anymore.

It's safe to assume that Caitlyn is only going to age like fine wine since Tiffani has proven herself to be a certified MILF. I haven't watched any of Caitlyn's other movies, but anything 2017+ is fair game (2017 is when she was ""13"").

Opinions on different recording media? VHS, CD, DVD, audio tapes, vinyl, game cartridges, analog vs digital etc. Which had best aesthetics?

As I wrote previously in this January column, I love the analog nature of VCRs, and similarly, the analog nature of VHS tapes. Things that are more "digital" (such as DVD players, CD players, or flat screen TVs) are less interesting to me, because much of the mechanics utilize parts that are harder to understand, follow, and repair due to much of it relying on very small surface mounted components. You can take apart a VCR and watch what components move in real time. You can press a button and see how that changes the mechanics inside the machine as it engages that change (such as pressing "fast forward"). One of my favorite parts regarding how VCRs and VHS tapes work in tandem is the IR sensors. At the beginning and end of the tape, the tape is clear. No actual information is recorded to this clear part of the tape. The purpose of the tape being clear at the beginning and end of the tape is because of the VCR's infrared sensors (IR sensors). These are known as the "end of tape sensors". Light is emitted from these sensors. When the tape is clear, light can successfully emit from one sensor to another, which indicates to the VCR that the tape is at the end, and can thus start to rewind. I find information like this very interesting, because the process is mechanical enough to be able to follow it rather than everything seeming like complete random magic, as is the nature with other more modern devices. I also enjoy that VCRs pair best with another one of my interests -- CRT TVs.

Also, VHS tapes are surprisingly very robust. They easily outlast the flimsy nature of CDs and DVDs. I remember having to handle CDs and DVDs with such care. One scratch on the disc and your media was ruined. This isn't the case with VHS tapes, since the tape itself is not exposed unless it is in the VCR. I have dropped VHS tapes numerous times and they take no damage. Whereas with a disc, they risk snapping very easily. Also, I have rescued VHS tapes out of the trash, and the tapes remain like new. The only damage they could possibly face is mold damage when exposed to moisture in a dark, warm, environment, but even this is rare (and curable). I own hundreds of VHS tapes and none have mold damage. The only possible downside regarding VHS tapes is their bulky size. I really like how VHS tapes look, there's nothing about their design that is unappealing or annoying, however, tapes use up room and are heavier compared to something such as DVDs. I have a slight phobia of things that weigh a lot (aside from men).

I also really enjoy audio cassette tapes, but, they are admittedly much more inconvenient than listening to files on your computer. I tend to like to mix certain albums or songs together into a temporary playlist on VLC. Doing this on a tape is not possible -- what you have recorded to the tape is the order it will play in. Because of this, I usually do not make audio tapes of music I like. Instead, I have a lot of instrumental and ambient tapes I've acquired that I like to listen to when I sleep. I save all other types of music-listening for my computer. Though, if you like using analog equipment to listen to music, you can broadcast media from your computer over the air and to your radio. You simply need a radio broadcaster to do this, which is very affordable. It is also legal to do this within FCC limits (under 250 feet in the US).

As for records, I own a number of records and enjoy them. The only issue is, a lot of albums are terrible when listened to fully through. Perhaps there's one song on an album you can't stand. Well, have fun trying to skip perfectly on a record. Records can also warp easily. I have a hard time finding records in thrift stores. For some reason they've become a high-brow item. It's rare that I find an album I like in record format -- they're all either 1970's country albums or Christian albums. Talk about a boomer hellscape. However, I did find an album I love at the thrift store. I could tell by looks alone that it was scratched. The album is by Bobby Caldwell, "What You Wouldn't Do For Love". I learned that you can repair scratched records with a needle, so this is something I want to try one day.

As for the "aesthetics", I'm not one to prioritize media or anything simply by looks alone. I prefer functionality. The only time I care about aesthetics is when it comes to novelty radios, and those aesthetics are objectively childish. While I don't let the physical appearance of media dictate whether I will use said media or not, I undoubtedly have a preference for media that looks a certain way. This is best shown visually:

"Ashley, have you considered using a static site generator like hugo instead of hand writing your website? It's saner and easier and can even handle things like tagging and rss feeds for you. You can still customize the css to make it look like a pile of trash."

I have heard of Hugo in the past and have previously looked at websites made with Hugo. One's reason for utilizing a static website generator (Such as Hugo, Wordpress, etc.) is likely out of convenience, timeliness, and to achieve a "modern" looking page. In certain usecases, I could understand why one would want to go this route. For example, someone aiming to build a quick and professional website for a business may opt for something like Hugo, instead of writing the website from the ground up. The person may do this because he has little attachment to this website and he simply wants something done quickly and easily and professionally with as little tinkering as possible.

However, with my website, I do not look at it as a task. I have a lot of fun writing the functionality behind my website (basic HTML/CSS), and I enjoy learning new things to implement on my website. For example, I spent far too many hours figuring out how to add an animated .gif as a border for the paid advertisement earlier in this column. At first, this task seems simple by utilizing the border-image: tag in CSS. Quickly you will find out how troublesome this is to use with a .gif, especially with one that you want to repeat around nicely. Therefore, I tried numerous ways to make my goal happened and I learned in the process. I don't care about how quick I can do something, or if something is "sane" or not. This is because I have fun with these things, and I like learning the mechanics behind such things. One detriment of always relying on website builders such as Wordpress is that the user may have a functioning website, but they have no idea how it actually works and they couldn't fix an issue if one occurred. You are unfamiliar with the infrastructure due to the "convenience". Often times, convenience is actually a guise for tightened restrictions, and is a detriment to the user.

Given my preferences, I would compare this question to asking someone who enjoys writing, "Why do you write when you could have an LLM generate a story much quicker and easier than hand writing a story? You can still edit the story to make it to your liking". This person would object for the reason that they like to write. Passing off pleasure as a task to another person/thing completely takes away from the pleasure, creation, and learning process. There is no pleasure, creation, learning, nor personalization when having someone or something always create something for you. Too often, we rely on convenience to solve issues that are not actually issues. If someone likes to write novels, even if they are never published and are of poor quality, having an automatic process do the writing for them simply due to convenience is insane and would erode the pleasure and learning that comes with writing.

There are some aspects of convenience that are highly beneficial (e.g. modern plumbing), but regarding more superfluous forms of convenience, such as Internet of Things light switches or website builders, they may be unnecessary or detrimental. It's not to say that website builders such as Hugo and Wordpress are worthless. They have their usecases and I certainly may utilize one if I were very lazy and was tasked to do something quickly for someone else that "looked good" according to the status quo. For me personally, it's not something I'm interested in.

While I have never read palms before, I'm excited at the opportunity to try. I'm very glad we are doing this over the internet so that I don't have to touch you. There's nothing worse than when you go to touch someone's hand and she (or you) are sweaty. One time I had actually shaken hands with a woman who had a small streak of poop on her hand. I am NOT kidding about this, and she acknowledged it. I didn't read her palm that day -- I smelled it.

In any event, I will read your palm one line at a time and write out the meanings that I discover.

The subjects and questions were submitted to me via email (ashleyjones@icum.to) and my discussion board ( https://tubgurl.com/ashleyj/thread/29878.html ). Please submit your questions, tip requests, suggestions, etc. via email with the subject line, "MONTHLY COLUMN", or in the thread linked about the monthly column. I will address them in future monthly column issues. If you are a teacher who wants to use my column as educational reading material for students, you are welcome to do so.