I only have a few in real life crushes.

The first Michael J. Fox movie I watched was Doc Hollywood. I really love how cute Michael J. Fox's voice sounds, it's got a slight shakiness to it as he speaks. One thing I notice I really like about my crushes is *ALWAYS* their voice. For some reason a nice voice goes a long way, and Michael J. Fox has a really cute voice. I think it's probably my favorite feature of his.

I sort of liked Doc Hollywood. Sort of. I really hated how it turned into a romance movie, far too many movies focus on a lvoe connection and frankly, it's super freaking boring and overplayed. A better story is more interesting away from the typical man and woman fall in love drama. I hate that, plus the chick he falls in love with has a KID so that makes MJF a freaking CUCK. I hate that. Nope. The first half of the movie was really good, before it goes from Doc Hollywood to Cuck Hollywood. If the movie had focused on a wealthy doctor from LA being trapped in the South, that would have been a lot more interesting. Instead we have to ruin that interesting plot with some ugly jewess with a kid.

Anyways, the other thing I love about him is his smirk. His smile melts my heart, when I see him smile I can't help but smile as well. That isn't me just saying, "they have a great smile", like some retarded platitude people say when they can't think of anything nice to say about someone. I genuinely really like how his face looks when he smiles.

I also really love his height, he's 5' 5" tall. For some reason I am more attracted to smaller guys. Since I'm 4' 11" I have abosloutely never cared about something as stupid as a man's height being too short. I always say, "If a woman cares about your height - she's too tall". Meaning, she's genetically deformed. I am genetically superior, 99% of men are automatically taller than me. It is a genetic flaw that reflects poorly on the woman if she needs to care about a man's height. That being said, I find shorter men very attractive, it's cute and I think their proportions look better. But it's not to say it's impossible for a tall man to be attractive, but I find Michael J. Fox's height very attractive.

I like that he's funny, humor is one of the most attractive traits a guy can hold. He's also laid back and isn't an a-hole like some celebrities can be. He's aged really well and I feel bad that he often seems to be forcing a smile on due to his Parkinsons. He's really amazing.

Do I really have to explain why Hercules is attractive? Look at that freaking god-sent god-hand-crafted masterpiece you call a man.

That chest made made for me to lick. I really really really like long hair on guys (like metal guys, not trannies with long hair), long hair and chest hair, leg hair, arm hair, is all very attractive. What makes him attractive isn't directly his looks (though it doesn't hurt), but how his character is written makes him very cool. That only makes his looks, then, even more attractive. I am not typically into muscles because it's the male version of a woman wearing a lot of makeup. Sure, I guess she sort of looks attractive technically. But you just know she's a massive pain in the ass and stuck up if she's spending that much time on her looks. Generally I have the same mindset with men who obsess over their looks (building muscle for looks not health), the men are too insecure and are looking for female validation for their body rather than working on having an easy-going and funny personality. Funny fat men always win over an insecure mentally weak body builder. Women like to be comfortable around a man, and if a man can put a woman at ease (usually with humor) and make her laugh and feel good (humor), she will like him a lot more.

All of that to say, though rare that I find a muscle body attractive, I actually do with Kevin Sorbo who makes me orgo. His muscles aren't over-the-top steroids-esque, they are the perfect amount if one were to build muscle. If fits in line with his character who is slaying monsters and pussy all day - in that position, of course you'd build some muscle.

The only thing is, Kevin Sorbo is a little annoying being bought into the political psyop. Politics are created by reptilians to have the human race fighting each other and distracted on Earthly physicality rather than spirituality, which is the actual reality, not here. The less we're thinking about spirituality, the more likely we will be caught off gaurd when we die and we leave our physical body. Thus, we're more likely to go into the bright white light they TRICK you to go into when you die and then reincarnate. Look at trickedbythelight.com to learn more about that - very interesting and will help you get out of this matrix when you "die". Anyways, Sorbo needs to spend less time playing into the political psy op. But even with that, he's still really cool compared to most celebrities, he seems very human.

Kevin Nukem is my Sonichu.

Kevin Nukem is a hybrid of Kevin Sorbo and Duke Nukem. He lives in Greece where randomly portals open up that transport him into 1996 Hollywood where he has to defeat enemies. He has special powers. But his special powers can't stop the portals from randomly opening up, and they always open up right in front of him as he's walking so there's no way to avoid the portals. We're not sure yet but we think his evil step mother Hera is behind the portals. He can't bring his guns back to ancient Greece because it would be unfair, but he can bring his sword into the Hollywood 1996 portals and he retains his half-god strength. He's more powerful than OG Duke Nukem and in this world OG Duke Nukem never existed because it's Kevin Nukem. If his hair gets cut he loses his powers like that guy from the bible (Kevin is a devout Christian). His wife and kids still died back in Greece but he's not single because he's with me (Ashley Jones). I stay in Greece and take care of our sheep and sell wool at the village. I am always waiting for Kevin Nukem to come back from his adventures and impreginante me again. We have a son named Michael J. Nukem who I cannot write about on this page because that would be incestious.

Ronald McDonald

Recently I have become attracted to Ronald McDonald. While I have always loved McDonaldland and all of the characters, I never developed a crush on any of the characters. However, something about Ronald is attractive to me. I have never been afraid of clowns, in fact, I actually really like clowns. I enjoy their bright colors and sense of humor. I really like Ronald's voice, I like that it isn't a put on clown voice, but is instead, relatively normal. If he had a bizarre clownish voice, I may not be as attracted to him. Ronald is always in a good mood, inclusive of all his friends, and that is attractive to me. Physically he is also attractive. I like his outfit and his large shoes. I wish they had made more live action skits/movies about Ronald McDonald. The best we have is the 1990's Wacky Adventure shows where it starts out as the real Ronald McDonald, but then it goes to an animated cartoon in the ugliest style (the animators who made Rugrats).

Anyways, I need to clarify that I do not sexualize Ronald McDonald. I only have a crush on him. Perhaps in a world where he and I meet and hit it off and he is not vaccinated, and we were good friends for a year, then our relationship could develop into a romance ("a romance" does not mean sexual intercourse, it just means a relationship where you agree to love each other platonically. While sexual intercourse is part of a long term loving, committed relationship, that would not occur until I am very comfortable and under the assumption him and I would spend the rest of our life toghether.) However, this is not pheasible and thus, he's only a crush who I do not sexualize.

The actor, Jack Doepke, who played Ronald McDonald from 1990-1999, is very cute. He is the one who played Ronald McDonald in the 1997-1999 The Wacky Adventures of Ronald McDonald series. In the Scared Silly episode, you can hear Ronald pronounce the word "car" with a slight Boston accent, which I thought was cute. The actor can portray Ronald very nicely, except his accent still slipped through a tiny bit, which I liked. Please note there is a person who is falsely claiming they played Ronald McDonald from 1995-2007. The liar's name is Joe Maggard. Joe Maggard did NOT ever play Ronald McDonald and is also NOT cute.

Part of why I may find Ronald McDonald attractive is because at times he reminds me of Michael Jackson, who I also have a crush on. It's the personality and the looks.

Specifically, this screenshot I took of Jack Doepke playing Ronald McDonald in The Wacky Adventures of Ronald McDonald in the 1997 episode Scared Silly shows Ronald in pajamas, which reminds me of Michael Jackson in pajamas.

Quick confession: One time I was watching a Michael Jackson live concert video and Michael Jackson was wearing tight golden pants. He had his legs straight and was doing slight jumps with his legs straight (this was to the song Smooth Criminal), and with each jump I saw his flaccid bulge bounce. I rewatched that part a few times but felt guilty because he wasn't consenting to his balls jiggling so I felt like it was an invasion of privacy for me to stare at his balls bouncing.

I'm surprised to have developed another real-life human crush. Most of my crushes remain fictional because fictional characters can be flawless in their personality and actions. They can easily be shaped to your liking. Humans are flawed, have many shortcomings, and often times hold traits that are undesireable (greed, rudeness, etc.) Because of this, I rarely develop crushes on humans. However, there are a few humans who have continually proved to have a good character, are kind, and are positive.

When I was a kid, I found Weird Al a little annoying. This was probably due to the fact that I wanted to seem more "grown up", so I rejected certain things that may be seen as childish. However, a few years ago I stumbled across the song "Constipated" by Weird Al. It's a parody of "Complicated" By Avril Lavigne. Needless to say, every single lyric in that song is hilarious and I was hooked the first time I heard that song. I can almost sing it word-for-word.

Weird Al's sense of humor is exactly my type of humor. He's really impressive as a person, his ability to think of hilarious lyrics are what impress me most about him. He's a very talented person. I also learned that he's a very smart person despite his wacky sense of humor. He graduated as Valedictorian when he was only 16. He's also a vegetarian like me. I have never read anything bad about Weird Al, at most the worst I have read are people's subjective opinions on his humor/music. I appreciate that he seems like a nice person who isn't controversial. His humor and positive qualities are why he is on this page.

I will admit that because I like his personality, I do think he is physically cute by pure nature.

My cartoon crushes

I don't know why, but I am attracted to various different cartoon characters.

Jon Arbuckle

The entire reason I became interested in Garfield is because I liked Jon Arbuckle's character. I felt like I related to him, though I will keep *what* I related to private, as it's not something I wish to talk about.

What I love about Jon Arbuckle is that he's a very kind, caring, considerate guy. He goes over the top to care for his pets, making sure Garfield and Odie have the best life possible; sometimes to Jon's detriment. For example, say Jon goes out to the grocery store and loads up on groceries. Guess what? Garfield will eat it all. While, understandably, Jon may be a bit upset at Garfield, he never lets his anger get out of control. I've never seen Jon abuse Garfield (such as he doesn't call him names, physically harm Garfield, or inflict some sort of cruel punishment to Garfield). Perhaps it has happened and I missed it. I highly dislike conflict, whether it's screaming, anger, physical abuse, especially if done to a being who is unable to understand concepts we humans do. It's very attractive that while Jon is tested many times by Garfield, he is able to temper himself.

Getting back on topic to Jon being kind and considerate, he always makes sure to include his animals in his life. He makes an effort to bring Garfield and Odie on trips, from trips to a cowboy's ranch, on a road trip, to an airport, to a picnic, Jon will do it all for his pets. On the rare occasions Jon is without Garfield (typically on a failing date), Garfield will still shove his way into Jon's life. Of course, chaos ensues on these occasions due to Garfield's rowdy behavior.

I also love Jon's goofy sense of dressing style. He's not afraid to dress up and I think it's cute how he's confident in his bad sense of style. I don't know if this attitude would translate well to "in real life".

My favorite outfits of his are when he's in his regular blue dress shirt and Khakis, or when he's wearing some sort of brown suit or jacket. (I also like the green suit he is wearing in the first picture I showed).

I also really like how his voice sounds. I notice with cartoon characters I have a crush on, I always like how their voice sounds. Perhaps this plays a big part on why I develop a crush on them? I think a lot of these characters are portrayed as "cool" guys (TNMT, Sly Cooper, Spyro, Dante from Devil May Cry) or sort of goofy. I tend to try and not look up the voice actors, because it breaks the immersion I hold with the cartoon character. Of course, I do look up the voice actors, but only for a quick glance. I don't really dig into the voice actor, just see a picture of them and keep it at that. I know that the voice actor of Jon was actually a producer of the show, so it's interesting he wasn't a dedicated voice actor.

It's a mystery to me as to why he has such a bad love life. He's a great guy with no problems, he isn't rude, isn't abusive, loves his pets, has a nice home, can provide for his family, and he looks cute as well. I don't know why the ladies run away from him when he attempts to flirt. I do get jealous when I see him and Liz together, but I also want him to be happy and have a happy life. Having a wife comes with this (or so they say). So while I may be a little jealous at times, I don't care that much. The few times I have looked up Rule 34 porn of Jon (pure curiosity, I don't really sexualize the characters I have a crush on (except Duke Nukem), it's more of an adoration rather than sexual (except Duke Nukem)) I see Jon and Liz. Luckily, one of my talented viewers made a comic strip of me with Jon. I would be lying if I said this didn't do something for me.

Roy from US Acres (Garfield show)

I wrote about my crush for Roy on my fan art page, so no use in reciting what's already written. I'll paste what I wrote about him, as the information is all the same. I recently, very unexpectedly, developed a crush on one of the characters from U.S. Acres, the farm cartoon and comic that features alongside Garfield. I started taking a liking to Roy, the rooster.

His character is cocky, which fits because he is technically a cock (male rooster). Though I develop crushes on male cartoon characters, I don't in any way want to be with them in a sexual context (except Duke Nukem). It's more of an adoration, or a "butterflies in my stomach" sensation. I never seek out any porn of the characters I have a crush on (except Duke Nukem), as animals are gross where sexuality is concerned. I don't think I'd enjoy any porn of the human male cartoon characters I have a crush on, either (except Duke Nukem). It's basically an adoration, not sexual, just a crush. It's hard to explain, because I feel like most people are very sexually driven if they have any form of adoration. I have a lot of crushes, but they aren't sexual.

Rocko from Rocko's Modern Life

I love Rocko's personanlity, it reminds me a lot of Jon's perosnality. A little awkward, very kind, I would say Rocko is a bit more anxious than Jon, but it's endearing when he's anxious. I also really love his voice, I don't know why but he talks like the Outback Steakhouse guy. I love that voice. I watched every single Rocko's Modern Life episode and it's a fantastic show. While technically a children's show, it doesn't dumb down to quick 2 second cuts, neon colors, burp jokes every 2 seconds, as most modern cartoons do. I can easily watch Rocko's Modern Life without feeling like it's writing and jokes are meant for another age group. I can't help but feel a yearning sense of adoration towards Rocko, if I were a wallaby I would hope he'd like me. I recall in the last episode of Rocko's Modern Life, he falls in love with another Wallaby. Heart torn. While I know it's supposed to be a happy ending, it was a sad ending for me. Nevertheless, I still enjoy the show and all that Rocko has to offer, he's amazing. I was very glad to see him included as DLC in the Nickelodeon All Stars Brawl game. I'm not very good at Smash or Brawl, but I do enjoy the chance to play as my favorite characters (Garfield and Rocko). They don't see much light in the media these days due to being outdated. I wish they could reboot Rocko's Modern Life and keep it in the time era it was originally set in. Not everything has to be "modern", I understand "Modern" is included in the title of Rocko's Modern Life, but perhaps it can be "modern" as in the 90's. I just get tired of the same old schtick where 90's characters discover smart phones. I think how they handled this in the new movie Beavis and Butthead Do the Universe was well done. It wasn't drawn out, a quick acknowledgement with a joke. The Beavis and Butthead movie was far better than I expected, as most modern reboots are god awful. I didn't like how the characters aside from Beavis and Butthead looked; it wasn't true to the old show/comics. The new characters looked like they were from Archer, it just doesn't work in my opinion. I also disliked the "awkward" "The Office" type humor that was shoved into Beavis and Butthead, it wasn't true to the old show and felt like they were trying more common comedy we see today. I just highly dislike the awkward type of comedy, it's highly overdone and not that funny after you've seen it a million times. They do this type of comedy in every show/movie these days, be it from The Office, to gay Marvel movies, to the fricken' new Mario movie, it's everywhere. But aside from that, the Beavis and Butthead Do the Universe movie was unexpectedly pretty good.

Rolfe (left) and Billy Bob (right) from
Rock-afire Explosion

If you're unfamiliar with the Rock-afire Explosions, they are an animatronic band who played at Showbiz Pizza. Showbiz Pizza was an entertainment area that served pizza and arcade games for kids and families. Along with pizza and games, Showbiz Pizza also had anamatronic bands who performed music and skits.

You can watch many of the performances online, Aaron Fetcher (the man who created the Rockafire Explosion) still manages animatronics and is still very involved with his creations. I recommend watching his videos, as he still creates and programs new performances by the Rockafire Explosion.

Anyways, I like Rolfe's voice and how he's a bit cocky, sort of like Roy from US Acres. Billy Bob is just cute, I also like his voice and how kind and carefree he seems. He sort of reminds me of Meatwad, perhaps it's the tooth.

I am not a furry

I feel the need to clarify that I am not a furry. I feel like furries sometimes 1. Overtly sexualize the characters (not all furries, but I do see this often) and 2. Make their fursona their personality and a big part of their interests/life.

I am not like this. I simply have a crush on these characters, but I don't really sexualize them (except Duke Nukem) nor do I want to dress up as a fictional character and make it a hobby. I don't mind furries (so long as they do not sexualize real animals or molest/harm real animals). For some reason I find that there are plenty of furries interested in vintage technology, something I'm also very interested in. I learn a lot from them and they are nice people.

My other cartoon/video games crushes: Sly Cooper, Spyro, Rapheal from TMNT. I might write about why I find them attractive, but it mostly amount to they're cool, I like their voice, their personality, they're nice, etc.